Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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