Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
