for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
