He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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