i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
