Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
