i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
