yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
