What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
