I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
