Buhtt sex?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
