I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
