I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Pants are for mortals
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
