tonight lets celebrate not being married
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
