You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
