Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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