I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
