I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
