Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
