I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
