so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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