Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
