I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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