My nipple is on Facebook.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
