We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
