I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
