THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
