That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
