I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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