Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
