he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
