Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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