Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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