Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
