There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
