Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
