I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
