I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
