Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
