yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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