Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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