Pappa wants mamma naked
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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