I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
