i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
