Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
