I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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