We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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