Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
nutella sex= disaster
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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