Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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