last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
